i'm not putting on hopes to get with you again. i know its impossible between us. but its just that i can't go on with life normally. every time i wanted to do something, i'll stop and wonder. the spontaneity in me is lost. i can't have fun anymore. i'm scared of what you will think of me, of whether it will hurt you. basically, seeking for your approval even though you're not mine and i sure am not yours. you undid me with all the late night and early morning phone calls and sweet messages. i don't understand what those are for. still, i looked forward to it. i can't seem to stand up to you. maybe its just a phase i'm going through but it sure feels like it is'nt. i'm not being a crybaby.

another person. a mature man. but i was thinking maybe he is too old. he is very sweet. but i'm not falling for it. i have these walls built around me. unfortunately, the key into it is not with him. how i wish it is.

another boy. baby, you've been a good friend ever since we knew each other back then. its very weird lahh.


whatever it is, i'll pull through this nicely. nobody deserves to be hurt. one day, we'll all look back and laugh over it. its puppy love after all.