Sometime during the night I woke up and reached for my phone, and guess what? Its 00:00! It gt me thinking on how I had spent this Saturday. It had been the most humiliatingly boring weekend ever. I swear my phone was abnormally silent throughout the 2 days. I know i know. My damned ppd is low. Normally I would die for days like this when everything seems tranquil and I could rot away silently. But now its as though there is something missing. I suddenly feel like I need somebody to always be there wherever I turn. I know its too much to ask for but fact is, you'd feel much safer. Like finally somebody's watching over you. Like a guardian angel, maybe? Its a long time coming. I never thought I'd ever feel like this. I'm never much of a dependent kind. I don't like to feel leashed. I like to walk my walk. Maybe its the insecurity talking. Too used to the feeling of being used. Two relationships in a row. Hey, that calls for a major pity party!

I'm so gg out today to celebrate life like every 17yr old-gonna be(s) should. I need to treat my sorry self until I'm as happy as the happiest lark. I don't care if I'm gg alone as long as I would be satisfied. I guess the expression shopping is the best cure is so very true. But I won't make it into a habit. It's an expensive habit, obviously. Lets nt get hopes too high. Only if this month's allowance has already been deposited into that sad, dry account of mine. And also all remnants of last week's hw are done. Haha. What a party pooper!

Okay. Now my weekdays are officially busy. I guess I couldn't spend much time on you anymore. Lets wait till the June holidays, then can I sit and stare at your cartoon face all day long, and still won't get enough of it. It sounds overachieving, but lets hope for the best. Don't cut our honeymoon short.


Goodbye January. Hello February! I hope you'll be as kind.